A 2007 study shows 81% of parents believe they don’t spend enough time with their children. In light of that, I give you the following story from a parent.

Her son was a high school senior and was finding good success. His chances of admission into a prestigious college were quite good. But she wondered if she did the right thing by her kids.

She said she wished she would’ve taught her kids better study habits. Her son had struggled in the beginning of high school, because he hadn’t figured out his learning style yet. It took him some time but he finally had success and started getting good grades. But she wondered how he would’ve done if she had sat him down and done homework with him when he was younger. After all, that’s what other parents did, and their kids were very successful.

Let’s remember that study. 81% percent.

It appears the favorite parent pastime is lament. We need to spend more time with our kids to make them better, right? Because if they’re not good – successful, smart, happy – then it’s our fault, right?

If, as a parent, you spend much time thinking about what you haven’t done right, then parenting is going to be a horrible job, full of endless labor. Instead, focus on the things that are going well (and yes, there are a lot of things going well), and focus on doing those things. Do those things more and more, as best as you can.

All of our kids are going to be fine. Many of our kids are going to be great. Please, don’t focus on the what ifs.


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